We love to spend moments with our dearest friends. We cherish those memories spent with them at school, sports, clubs, movies, concerts, travel, festive celebrations, and family gatherings. There could be none other than Friends who know us through thick and thin. Although they laugh when we slip down, we find comfort in getting up without embarrassment. Nobody knows our worst as our friend yet they help us see the best in us.
Good friends are like a mirror; they reveal all blemishes and spots. When we cry they cry with us, when we laugh they laugh with us. In love, joy, sorrow, failures, and success their presence and support are irreplaceable. I remember the proverb saying “True Friends are like diamonds which are rarely found.
The brutal truth is that bad friendships also exist. In this corrupted world, the true essence of friendship has stained its integrity when it comes to cross-sex friends. Friendships have turned out to be Flirtships. The divinity of friendships has been manipulated for the sake of sensual desires and selfishness. We have forgotten to value morale in every relationship blessed on this planet. ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’ is a popular proverb we know, where we understand the actions of a friend in our deepest need explains the truthfulness of friendship. Nowadays this phrase has gone to the heights to satisfy sensual needs. Indeed, such friends are never friends in deed, but friends with Benefits. As you read this blog I believe you can discern what a Friend and Friend with benefits would look like.
Friends With Benefit (FWB) relationships are growing among youngsters beyond any culture. Two friends mutually come together without any commitments. FWBs are identified in many ways. Some FWB relationships are merely sexual satisfaction. Others can be two friends trying to find a romantic partner without commitments.
Let’s find out some red flags for the sake of friendships.
‘SINGLE’ But ‘READY TO MINGLE’
You may want relationship status as ‘single’ among your peer groups. Neither takes the initiative to define the relationship nor would change the tag from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’.
Never try introducing yourself to your family members to avoid any emotional strings with each other not willing to turn it into a long-term relationship.
This is the next danger zone specifically for those who have just experienced a relationship breakdown or failure. Some find FWB as a choice over serious commitments to make a safe play. Whether by choice or fortune, you have fallen for cheap thrill.
LUSTFUL DESIRE
Every soul desires to drench in a moonlit romance in their youthful life. A partner to cuddle, hold hands, walk through narrow streets, a long drive together is beyond one’s wildest dreams. Often ending up in ‘puppy love’ relationships or toxic relationships.
Hurt in a toxic relationship leaves a longer trauma for commitments . With the fear of losing, break ups, being emotional strings attached or either to escape responsibilities ahead—Friends with benefits seems the best preferred option for them offering free of commitments , responsibilities, pains and every other anxieties which may arise in a relationship.
In a FWB relationship you are bound to take freely without a give back expectation in terms of emotional strings in all intentions leading to self destruction.
SPUR OF THE MOMENT
Physical attraction towards the opposite gender is completely normal. Nature’s law is to find love , give love and be loved. Emotions developed with no commitments only for the sake of sensual pleasure are purely abnormal. Patting, rubbing shoulders, hugging, other physical touch gestures in every friend’s gathering are normal ways of expressing deeper connection. There is this moment when two are left alone, their eyes dilate filled in desire, the touch is not the same anymore. All that you could feel is a rush of oxytocin-love hormone tingling over you. Oh.. we got feelings for each other. May our “Flirtship” hail through tears and joy. May our “Flirtship” last forever is what you passionately utter to each other.
Do you remember the functionality of the Reflex Action in Neuro System learned in Biology class? Our brain sends signals through reflex action when you touch a hot object so we withdraw our hands. Ignoring the reflex signals and deciding to enjoy the heat is absolute insanity. Nobody ever wants to burn themselves right? In spur of the moment all you crave is to enjoy the benefits offered in friendship sake. Time and again misunderstood for the lust reflexes wired in our body.
1 Corinthians 6:18 says,“Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.”
SPARK OF LOVE
One partner in FWB tends to admit love over time as they desire for a loving relationship. Remember this may arise due to a lot of emotional constraints and needs in them. Whereas the other partner refuses with the strong fear of commitment or not overcoming the failures. Gradually when the relationship grows you get emotional frictions causing you love sick. You may find comfort when you are around with this person. You may also find that your heart wanes in their absence. These frictions in emotions make you believe there is hope for love in so-called Friendship. The longing desire to be loved and unexpressed emotions gets you hooked in lustful friendship.
James 1:14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.
Something higher than FWBs, live in relationship, online dating, hookup living are making the right choice in a relationship. Make a purpose to be faithful to ourselves and to others. Good friendships build each other to become best version of yourselves. Have you ever felt the relationships that you came across has left you in a dilemma?
Before someone would direct us in her/his finger tip, let us fledge in morale excellence
A CALL TO REWIRE YOUR CONSCIENCE:
FWBs motives are self-love, passionate desires, disrespect, and freedom from commitments. The bonding and emotional attachment in friends with benefits are more to the passionate desires and less to the friendship component. Physical relation is a concern only for meeting sexual urges although not part of “flirtship”. if you remove sexual gratification, where does your “Friend” stand in your life?
Proverbs 12:28 says, the Godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray.
Hope this blog was helpful to you to know about red flags in Friendships.
Stay tuned. Peace be with you.
